"Does he accept you"?
A lot of times we as women enter into a relationship with a million and one “I’m every woman” morals and values. However, if you aren’t strong enough in who you are and know your worth you’ll end up changing your standards to meet his. I have two major morals that in order for me to date a guy he must accept. He must be of Christian beliefs and he must be okay with me waiting until marriage. Those are two things I’m very passionate about and refuse to change. I’ve had several girls tell me how they entered into their relationships saving themselves for marriage and ended up having sex a few months into the relationship. Here’s the funny thing about men and morals, he doesn’t respect what you don’t stand on! Read that twice doll so I can be sure you hear me, kay? You can’t expect a man to be so strong about accepting what you don’t even take seriously yourself. Let me give you a few examples. If you have a child and want him to accept you as a mother, but you spend all of your free time going out with him and your friends. It’s going to be hard for him to understand when that light bulb goes off that you should be with your child more and not him. Now, I’m not saying if he doesn’t agree with this and not be understanding that he is right. No boo, boo that’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is you should have set the tone as a mother first and girlfriend second. Simply because until you receive that ring and become wife he doesn’t come first. Now, let me give another example to those who are not mothers. If you are like me and you feel that you don’t want to live with a man that you’re just dating then you have to be very solid about that. If the conversation comes up one day and he makes the comment saying, “I think you should move in so we can be together more” don’t take that as flattery if that’s not what you want. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve talked to who moved in with their boyfriend because he asked and although they didn’t want to they did so because he basically started to provide ultimatums. A lot of females get it confused basically believing if the guy doesn't say, "do this or this will be the consequence" it wasn't an ultimatum. False! It will be very subliminal and mess with your head if you aren't strong enough. Let's say he asks you to move in and you decline. A few weeks later you see him flirting with other females and spending less time with you. So, you confront him and he says, "Well I told you I wanted you to move in so we could spend more time"! Wait, what? What does your living arrangements have to do with him not being loyal and committed to only you? This is what you call a, "subliminal ultimatum". The same goes with wanting to remain pure until marriage. If you tell this guy that you are celibate, but later you find out he's been having sexual inter-course with other females. This is all apart of him not accepting you! Acceptance is deeper than how you look, dress, and walk. If a man doesn't accept all of the characteristics that makes you the jewel that you are, then he doesn't accept you. Never compromise what you stand for! I know it's easier said than done when you so desperately want to be with a man. Well, don't say it! Just do it! Changing doesn't require you speaking it requires you doing. You have to be straight up and ask yourself, "Do I want a man or the man God has for me"? If the answer is, a man. Then you should go right outside of your house, scream to the top of your lungs, "I'm a single woman who wants to date me?” and after everyone finishes looking at you crazy take your pick! It's that simple. BUT to those who said they want the man God has for them. Stay tuned to part 2, end that toxic relationship if you're in one, delete those useless numbers, learn how to love and accept yourself, spend time with God, and wait! You deserve the real deal not a negotiation.