Being Loved with Effort

This year as so many of you I started off my year with a list of positive goals I wanted to accomplish. A heartbreak was NEVER on the list. After almost a year and of half of waiting to be picked and become official with a guy I decided to end things. I was extremely hurt by having to end the "situationship" but I knew it was for the best. Just a few months after I began hearing week by week that he was back with his ex. Of course I'm thinking "No, maybe that's not true. Maybe he is just being cordial" (because honestly I'm still cool with my some of my ex's and we keep in touch).


Next thing I know she posted him on her page and her words basically confirmed what everyone was telling. I truly felt a rush of emotions from denial to anger. The last emotion I felt was revenge. Now I know you're probably thinking, "revenge? What were you planning to do? Bust his windows out"? lol! NEVER. The revenge I felt was on myself. I felt as though I had a point to prove to myself that I'm not worthless, that I am valuable, and that I do deserve true love. I started working out, watching my portions, I have even started boxing. I focus on finding ways to grow my business and gain clients. I set a bedtime for myself. Yes, a bedtime! No more staying up late stalking pages your girl is getting her rest. I listen to podcasts and pray more than ever. All of these things are elevating me to become the best version of myself for myself first and future husband second. 

During my nightly reflections I began realizing that in order to meet my soulmate I have to reveal my soul. He can't find me if I'm not being myself. A lot of times in dating I always found myself dimming my light so I wouldn't appear to be "too much" to a guy. I didn't want to be a threat or come off too independent so I belittled every accomplishment. Let me just say if that is you then please stop doing that. You deserve to shine and a real man is going to want you to. Every beautiful trait, 


Vanessa said Kobe respected the women in the house so much that he never left the toilet seat up. Such a simple gesture but the thought behind it makes it huge. Lauren said Nipsey prayed over them & their home every morning before he left. Ciara said that Russell met her when baby Future was just a few months old and loved him from that moment as his own! Michelle said Barack asked her on a date with no money and a hole in his floorboard in his car. Tia Mowry said Corey wanted to impress her so bad he caught the bus to her and bought cheap roses from the grocery store!

There are women finding men who treat them like they are rare jewels, appreciate them, love them so deeply they feel it when they breathe and you’re crying over a man who can’t even remember to tell you he’s busy? A man who can’t express how he feels about you AND pursue you? A man who says you’re tripping every time you express a concern?

Once you see that true love at its purest form is truly out there it’s so hard to settle or cry over anyone bringing anything less than authentic love and affection!

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